October 26, 2004
I try not to read. I try not to listen.
But I can't, because I care about my country, about my family's future, about my safety, about my military friends, about my military future. I follow the campaign not as a fan but as someone who is terrified of the outcome and terrified by the fact that most of us may stop paying attention once a winner is declared (hopefully by math and not by a court).
I am afraid. I am afraid that most of this country does not pay attention to anything that does not agree with their own views. I am guilty of this as well - I read Newsweek, The Nation, online blogs that are all liberal, etc. I tend to search out things that criticise the current president rather than his senate challenger.
But knowing that I do this I look critically at this weak opponent, and I listen carefully to those that support the president. I see them at work, in bible study, at the store, on the radio. The country is a great mass of conservatives now, and I feel like I simply cannot speak up because all the arguments have been made deftly by Rove, and I am not interested in trading fucking taglines that we have all heard on TV.
We cannot back out of Iraq and Afghanistan now that we have created them as terrorist incubators - there will be no peaceful future for either. We cannot continue to spend like we have been, we cannot continue to destroy our education system, our health-care system.
Bush seems like a good man of faith, but I doubt that he has the intellectual capacity to lead this country. You are either the master of your cabinet, or you are controlled by it. Bush is clearly controlled by his love of delegation, and those beneath him appear to be leading this country into risky situations with his unchanging support. Bush has systematically catered to industry (including in particular my industry), and he sees nothing wrong with this in his personal morality.
Kerry is a senator, and he talks like a senator and debates like one. He thinks critically and changes his mind when presented with new information. But this isn't a fucking discussion, this is a series of little tiny lives that can be ruined. I doubt that Kerry can bring a peaceful end to Iraq and he certainly cannot do all the things that he has had to promise to do in order to make a run at an incumbent president.
What worries me the most is that neither is a great man, and to save us we need a great leader to lead this great nation. But I simply hope that it is a great nation - because day to day all I see is ignorance, weakness, and selfishness.
I am comforted by something that I overheard the other day. If there is any sort of attack near the election, we will not roll over and not have them. We are not France or Spain - even if Americans don't intend to vote - we will not allow anybody else to mess with our elections. We can fuck them up on our own.