August 21, 2003
Things I am learning as we prepare to buy a house
- It is pretty rare for people to have yards anymore, even in the suburbs. Most people just stay inside all day anyway. Yet every neighborhood has sidewalks all over the place, which you would think would foster a sense of community as people met each other on the street and started talking, but it doesn't because they all just talk about what is on TV.
- Real estate agents have no sense of humor.
- Can the study be converted into a sex dungeon?
- We want a soundproof basement for when the children are bad.
- Would an old person have trouble climbing the stairs to the attic if, theoretically, forced to do so?
- Do you think that the homeowner's association would have trouble with a sex swing on our front porch?
- How about a barbecue pit near our mailbox?
- We will need to put a fence up because we have two cute young velociraptors.
- Buying a house with four bedrooms gets you thinking about children very quickly, and therefore makes you feel very young all-of-a-sudden instead of old as you would expect.
- With that spare bedroom and possible basketball goal outfront there are no more excuses for me not trying out for the Atlanta Hawks this year.
- Cows are not considered 'acceptable' pets, inside or out.
- Just like getting married, getting a house makes you think long-term again only this time you only worry about money.
Editor's note: I originally typed: theorectically above, which gave it a similar meaning but on a different level. We aplogize to any bots that may have picked this up and been offended.