June 04, 2003

Racial revenger

I am the racial revenger. Whenever anybody says anything racist or seemingly racist around me I spring into action, verbally and sometimes physically lashing those that say things that they can normally get away with. My punishment is shocking, quick, and effective. Here are my methods:

1. If I do not know you I will stare at you for 25 minutes after you say something racist until you look away, leave the room crying, or continue with your sermon until the kicks to the face begin.

2. If I do know you I will look at you with an expression that says: "Hmmm. That's weird, I thought that I was talking to a friend but suddenly a pile of shit has replaced him, a pile of shit that I will now destory." At this point I will begin making you feel guilty for what you said through a series of logical arguments which end with you urinating all over yourself, going to confession, and apologizing personally to Jesse Jackson.

3. If I barely know you, I will not ever know you. This includes job interviews, dates, and other social gatherings. If you say something racist, I disappear.

4. If you catch me in a bad mood there is a chance of me feeding you your own medicine depending on how effective I estimate this to be. For example, "simple inbred redneck fucker" rolls off my tongue like poetry.

June 4, 2003 07:35 PM