June 04, 2003

I wonder if I will ever get a bigger office, I mean my cubicle is nice and I have a pretty good view of the edge of a window which means I get that sunshine sometimes and I feel like I am outside working with my laptop, but wouldn't it be nice to have an office. The sheer respect of it - here, honey, is where I work - this is my office, where I make important phone calls and do other adult and somehow manly things that allow us to live - be attracted to me in a primal way; bow down before my altar of power. Cubicle sex is impossible, but in an office at least there is a chance of a little action, of a little privacy. It would also be cool to have an office on the bottom floor of a very large building that faced right onto the sidewalk so that you could look at the people as they walked past. Maybe that would be too distracting, all that movement out of the corner of your eye. If you moved your desk so that your back was to them then one day you would probably turn around and get scared shitless by someone flashing you, and there would probably be spitting since if I was homeless the last thing that I would want to see is some prick with a nice leather chair five feet away from me behind some glass moving papers around. Maybe it would have two way mirrors, or one-way, one-way, like in the movies where they drill the criminal until he confesses, but only no one would punch through the glass without your permission because if they did then you would have to smell and hear the street, and that isn't the point. Oh, we're here, and just in time, because I am fucking starving.

June 4, 2003 07:34 PM