April 02, 2003

Sheltered

You know, you have got a nice little system worked out for yourself. You are an immature, know-it-all, little shit who hates being wrong. You hate being wrong - hate the feel of it, hate the temperature that it turns your face - so much that you avoid it at all costs - at the cost of being nice to people, at the cost of professionalism, at the cost of most things.

But here is the brilliance of your sheltered little system: you are so unpleasant to people when you are wrong that they avoid you being wrong as well. You lash out at contradictions from others by verbally abusing them and then laughing at them (literally) and figuratively (to other people when they aren't around). This is so annoying to people, and you are so small as to not be worth it, that people just don't tell you when you are wrong; they avoid it as much as you do.

This, however, does not mean that they think highly of you or respect you. Instead, they see that you have messed up (no big deal) and that you are now trying to cover it up by blaming the discoverer of the problem or anyone nearby. They then route around your problem. They buffer their efforts with the full knowledge that your would rather cover up a mistake you made then admit it and fix it.

But you don't know any of this - safe in your self-built shelter from criticism; your prison.

April 2, 2003 03:51 PM