March 03, 2003
Iron Chef
Things that I would say if I were an Iron Chef judge:
- This dish is very complex - with many levels of enjoyment - much like a 7-layer burrito from Taco Bell.
- This dish reminds me of my childhood, chasing our dog around the front yard naked with a water hose.
- Hmm.. Is this dishwater that you have used here?
- The way that you complimented the miso with some of your own sweat is quite amazing.
- I don't speak Japanese.
- I must say that this is by far the best snot-on-a-plate that I have ever tasted.
- I have an erection. It may be due to your food, and maybe not, but just wanted to pass that along.
- The way that you have combined the classic French sauce with the Redneck style of beanie weanies is quite impressive.
- Are you available for weddings?
- If you wear a bathrobe to work, do you wear a tie to sleep? I have a headache.
- There was a time in my life when I would not eat anything other than Mac and Cheese. After tasting your dish I wonder if I should return to this method.