January 19, 2003

Adventures in capitalism

We made it! Our little buzzer goes off, vibrating and lighting up frantically to show us and everyone else that we are now the chosen, the ones who makes it to the show. We wade through the crowd and proudly hand it over. Number 52. A proud moment. Prouder moment still as we move past the people waiting for space around the bar. What fools! Our method may be conservative, it may play by their rules, but where is your fucking table? Now I can allow myself to be hungry.

Later, in a bath store, we come across a large area full of pillows. All sort of pillows: feather, down, cotton, human hair, etc. All on display and ready for touching. A Pillow petting zoo. We take them down and lie down on the floor to try them out. Do a lot of people do this? I hope so, it is quite fun. Who uses the 'pure' feather pillows? I mean really - you can feel the end of the feathers like little freakin' razor blades in your head. SM people? Are there cameras recording pillow petting zoo behavior?

Later still we are waiting in line at an ice cream shop. The protocol is simple, step up and order. French Vanilla Yogurt with Oreo. What is the Oreo topping protocol? Do they buy Oreo's and then break them up at the store? Probably not, they buy them like that: from the Oreo people or from a third party? Do they have the cream center in them smushed up with the other stuff or is it just the delicious outer crust? If there is no cream then Oreo has two lines of business: cookies and parts. There are then separate managers for each. Hi, I am Bob Robertson, Director of Oreo Crumbs. Huge factories creating the crumbs. Are they smushed up in the same building that regular Oreo's are made? Are there division rivalries? I hate those crumb people, they aren't like us. They have no soul; no creamy center. Or maybe it is just a couple of janitors sweeping the floor of manufacturing. VP of Crumb Acquisition and his Assistant. Any way you get them they are quite good.

January 19, 2003 04:37 AM