December 09, 2002
Revenge
When I graduated from college I took my printer out into my in-laws driveway and beat it hard and repeatedly with a golf club, I believe it was a 7-iron, until a couple of springs from one side shot up and glanced my eyeglasses. At this point I realized that I could be blinded or otherwise permanently injured by this and so I stopped, wishing to avoid a potentially embarassing trip to the ER or, even worse, a lifetime of telling people why I have a scar under my eye shapped like fusilli pasta.
I remembered this story because somebody keeps calling me at very weird times on my cellphone, about three or four times a day, and I have tracked them down and found that it is, in fact, some sort of fax machine/printer/scanner combination, no doubt seeking revenge.