November 19, 2002
Open letter
Dear Man with mustache who almost killed me yesterday,
Hi, I am the owner of a blue car. You may have seen me yesterday waiting to take a left onto a major road; I was the one with my left blinker on when you arrived at the stop sign on the other side of the road. Although I may be jumping the gun, I thought that we shared something during those five minutes waiting to turn together: the understanding that I was going first since I had arrived first. During those five minutes we exchanged various strange glances from across the busy two lane-highway and when my time came I was trusting in your ability to uphold our agreement.
Instead you decided that darting out like a little fucking chipmunk right in front of me would be better for both of us. This conclusion will prove to be false as the next time I see you I will rip your mustache off like a blind woman doing her first armpit wax, you mother-fucking asshole.
Sincerely,
the man in the blue car