October 09, 2002

Chilling

It is really cold today, and it is raining. This feels like a completely different place. I stepped out to go to my car today and I was taken back to my first quarter of college. It was almost midnight and I was working on a paper. It was freezing outside and, as it tended to do that year, it was raining. It rained all year when I was a freshman - it was the first year of a stronge el nino and being in the direct path of the jet stream doesn't help either. Now everytime it is raining and cold I am once again a freshman, riding my bike in the rain at midnight trying to find a place to print out my first english paper.

My wife is a supporter of the growing perfuming and lotion industry. She has quite a collection in a very large drawer under our sink (it has to be forklifted in when we move from place to place). She has lotions dating back years, and she switches what she wears every once in awhile. Yesterday she switched to a scent that she used to wear when we were first dating in high school; it made me feel warm and vulnerable at the same time. My mind was replaying whatever I was feeling at that time at a level too low for me to even understand, but I still felt it.

All I seem to remember is emotions. My memories from childhood are of when I was really mad or really unhappy, not of what my old house used to be like. I only remember the details of my old house when they are important to those emotional times; I used to climb that tree, that is where I hurt my foot, those neighbors hate it when I jump off of their blue boat through the bushes into our yard.

October 9, 2002 04:37 AM